Through the rise and falling apart, we discover who we are.

Divorce sucks, I still wish I wasn't going through it, of course.  But it's brought about some positive changes in me, or rather my lifestyle and outlook on life.  In the past five months, I've met people I probably wouldn't have met if I wasn't going through this.  I've gotten out and done a few things I probably wouldn't have done before either.  I'm busy, I'm having fun, I'm actually loving life, as difficult as that sounds considering the circumstances. 

There's something I don't understand.  I'm getting out and doing things I love to do, things I've loved for a long time, things I liked doing with her, but I feel like I'm looking forward to them and enjoying them so much more now.  Why is that?  Was she bringing me down without me realizing it?  Am I just enjoying things more now because I try to keep myself busy as much as I can?  Was I just in some rut that this all pulled me away from?

It's still hard to see her, which doesn't surprise me, but I'm missing her less and less.  And, I'm discovering that maybe I'm better off without her, especially considering the way she handled all this.  Of course, I still question whether I really believe that or if I'm just convincing myself of it.  Whatever the case, there's no doubt I can keep going. 

I was told recently that I'm more fun now.  I don't notice any difference that way, but if that's the truth, then that's one more positive I can take away from this.  I never thought I'd be here, and to say I'm glad it happened would be insane, but maybe in the long run I'll discover it was exactly what I needed.