Through the rise and falling apart, we discover who we are.

I loved you, I truly did love you, and I suppose I still do.  But I also have to give it everything I've got everyday to not hate you.  I don't want to hate you, not after everything we had, but the crazy part is, I do want to hate you, to despise you, to loathe you.  The way you could just quit us, not even tell me there was a problem, just quit, just turn your back and act like nothing ever happened... oh yeah, I want to hate you forever. 

 

It's easier to hate you, to focus on the anger and forget about the memories.  I'm really good at it some days, but then there are the others where everything we had, everything we were, creeps back into my mind.  And then I hate you for that, and I really don't want to.  Despite what's happened, I want to be able to look at our past fondly and be happy that we had it at all.  But right now, anytime I think of anything about us, the only thing I can think is, "How could you?  How could you do this?" 

 

They say there's a fine line between love and hate.  I never really understood that until this all began, and even then, it took some time to start getting past the hurt and start feeling the anger.  A fine line... yeah, and I feel both for you.